Life Through Music: "It's Just a Song" by Callie Moore

Wow. What a year 2014 has been so far. There is so much change going on around me that it sort of feels like I’m on the outside looking in. This is not really the case of course and I’m really right in the thick of things. I have been trying to embrace this change as much as possible instead of fighting it. There is much that will be changing for me in the near future and beyond. This doesn’t mean, however, that I haven’t taken a second to look back and replaying what was. In some cases that means thinking of things that were only a couple of months ago. These thoughts bring me to the song that I pick for this week and last week’s song of the week. 

I love finding new music as well as appreciating the ones I already know so well. I found this song in a round about way, but let me explain a bit for you. See, I follow a few Youtubers on youtube. One of those Youtubers is a guy named Shay Carl. Most of the videos that he makes are actually just footage of his large family. It’s actually, in the true sense of the word, a real life reality show that revolves around his family. I haven’t been watching his videos regularly for awhile now, but a few weeks ago one of the video titles caught my attention so I took a moment to watch it. In the video his wife (Katilette) has her sister (Callie) visiting the family. When his wife and sister were talking they mentioned that they didn’t get to record any music together because her sister was sick. Instantly my ears perked up. For one I didn’t know Shay’s wife could sing or that she had a sister who could too. I believe that they put a link in the description of the video I was watching so that you could go check their music out. So, of course I did and what I found was quite wonderful. 

What I found eventually was the music of Callie Moore and there is quite a bit of talent with this woman. After going through a few songs with both Callie and Katilette I wandered off to check out some of Callie’s solo work. I stumbled on a live set that she recorded in Seattle. I think it was the second or third song that I had stumbled upon when I found her live version of a song called “It’s Just a Song”. As the first line of this song hit my ears I paused and just let the song wash over me. Her voice is so wonderful and very powerful even in its delicate and gentle nature. I have since heard the album version and I have to say that I like the live version much better. There is so much rawness in her voice that I love in the live version that is missing with the album version. So from that moment on I listen to the song quite a few times. 

The song is in a way a look back and yet a look forward as well. Although the song doesn’t quite directly connect to anything going on in my life like she may have written it about. There is much in the song that I can relate to that made an impact on me of late. 

Lyrics:

“It’s Just a Song”

I'm so guilty of replaying moments in my head
And wondering what I should have done or said

(This is the line that hooked me to this song. I’m so guilty of doing this. SO, guilty of this)

But that one was perfect with your hand resting on my back
To calm my trembling breath
Before I walked away and swore that I'd forget
But I could not forget

(The problem with having a good memory like I do is not being able to forget things that you should or want to.)

And who can I tell it to?
Not you, love. Not anyone
No, some things are better left
Just bottled in the bottom of my soul
Or I could write it in a song
And all the crowd will sing along
And they might wonder if its written from experience or not

(Even now you could be trying to figure out if there is more behind my connection to this song, but really..."it’s just the song" of the week though... I promise. ;-)

I only dreamed of growing up throughout my childhood
But now I wish I owned the world again

(Don’t we all...)

And everyone I know is watching closely
"Is she gonna break?
She's resting on a hairpin trigger.
Everything's at stake."
But I'm so guilty of wearing my heart like a scarlet gown

(Well maybe not a scarlet gown, but I most definitely wear my emotions on the outside most of the time for sure.)

Sparkling in the lights for everyone to see
And this undivided audience
You know too much, you know too much
This guitar's gone and got the best of me

And who can I tell it to?
Not you, love. Not anyone
No, some things are better left
Just bottled in the bottom of my soul
Or I could write it in a song
And all the crowd will sing along
And they might wonder if its written from experience or not

And when will this song be just a song?
Oh when will this song be just a song?
It's just a song

I'm so guilty of replaying moment in my head

Again and again and again, love
I cannot forget 

(I’m so very guilty. I cannot forget, but I will do better not to dwell on what I cannot forget.)

My sister knows very well that I do this looking at my past situations too much.. It is part of how I process things in my life. Especially when we are talking about emotionally things. I have in the last few years tried to move away from this kind of process in order to help me live in the now and focus on the future. Enough of the “What if?”s or “Why didn’t I?”s because they don’t get you anywhere. It’s important to use your past as tool to learn from, but only to a certain point. Us humans can get stuck there and by being stuck there we miss out on the now and in turn shape a very different future than might be possible by being stuck in the past. This is very true to many of my past relationships. How can you invite something better in if you are still going in circles with the last person? The answer is that you can’t. 

The bigger picture connection to this song for me is that as I have had to let go of so much from even 2013 and now into 2014 that it’s hard not to take a moment here and there to reflect on what was just there not too long ago. It’s crazy how much my life and myself have changed from just this last summer to this summer. I think about this a lot as I prepare to end one chapter of my life and move on to the next. The chapter that is ending of course is the one about living in the apartment that I have lived in for over 5 years now and on to whatever comes next. More on this reflection will come soon. For now I will leave you to ponder your own thoughts about how much you think about your past? How much you think about your now? How focused you are on your future? 

Since it is World Cup time I will put my thoughts into soccer terminology for you. In soccer the term is called “ball watching”. It means that you are too focused on where the ball was instead of where it is about to go. By watching the ball you lose track of the player you were suppose to defend or should be defending from scoring a goal. 

Be careful good people on how much you look back.

As always I bring this to you will so much love and pure D-Lite. = )