Its very interesting to me to get the female perspective on things in life. I had much of that go on the other day and it sparked a whole bunch of thoughts in my head that I thought I would share.
Last Saturday I spent most of the day hanging out with my sister for her birthday. During that time many of her friends stopped by randomly throughout the day to wish her happy birthday and hang out. Most of her friends I know as well. There were a few that I met for the first time yesterday. Being the only guy that was there through most of the day there was definitely a lot of female energy flying around. Like most things in life I found it very interesting to for the most part just to sit back and listen.
During my time over at my sisters there were a few things that stood out to me in conversations we had. Some of the things that were said kind of hit on somethings that I have been thinking about lately.
I’m someone that is very observant and I take in life and try to learn from what I see. The comment that was made yesterday that gave me pause was a comment said by one of the females that hung out for quite awhile. In the middle of some kind of related topic she said, “I’m dating a guy that can actually poach an egg. I’m surprised that he is competent enough to do so.” Now I don’t expect everyone to know how to cook a poached egg, but the part about the comment that made me pause is that she was surprised in his competence to do such a thing. Maybe it’s because I’m very independent myself, but I find that my generation and the ones below mine don’t make the effort to do such things on many levels of life not just in cooking.
I find with myself that it is very important to learn the little details as well as the big ones about those I meet in life.
I have been single for most of my life so I don’t have a huge amount of relationship experience to back up my thoughts, but I have been very observant when talking to others about their relationships which taught me a lot. I have even learned quite a bit from the relationships I have had. There are many reoccurring patterns that usually come up when I listen to others talk about their relationships.
Let’s go back to the comment about the comment about the poached egg. It makes me think about how low the bar has been set for many women out there. Another example of this to me is when I use to ride public transportation into downtown Portland to spend some time with a woman I was dating. Apparently me doing this was a huge deal because when she told the other women she worked with what I did this they said, “Wow, he must really like you.” Are you kidding me? Even when she told me that I was confused. Have women really been treated so poorly that going to their work to share a meal is going over the top? I definitely don’t want to group all women and men in this category, but I have heard many similar stories from many people over the years.
Past not doing the little things in a relationship communication seems to always come up when a relationship is struggling and or didn’t work out. Which is sad because I love having that consistent communication with someone I’m invested in. It doesn’t have to be talking to each other every five minutes, but I really enjoy talking to the person I’m with. Especially the end of the day talks before bed. My mother called me the quiet child when I was younger and that is true for the most part. However, I have found that to the right people or right situation I can be quite the chatter box and actually communicate quite well. I operate better in one on one situations. There is also many other ways that we can communicate between each other. Communication isn’t just talking to each other orally it can be body language or simple just a person’s actions. Even silence has its place when communicating. It is no secret that women love to communicate more than men as a whole, but for me nothing is more attractive to me than someone that has a good open dialog with me. For the male gender this can be a hard thing to do. I realize we are all in different places in life as we figure out ourselves and how we operate with our partners, but I think if more effort was put into communication many problems in a relationship can be dealt with long before they blow up into huge problems. When it comes to communication I feel I’m much different from the norm and I’m always trying to be better about this.
Some of this may seem like common sense, but there are many people that are lost on such things. My sister at some point during the discussions going on between all the females that were at her place said to me, “Are you taking notes?” She said this because most of the women knew me well enough to speak rather openly about all sorts of topics.To which I say for most of the things they talked about not really because those are things I just do because I have always found them important.
I’m not trying to put myself above or in front of anyone else because I realize that we all are at different places of learning in this thing called life. I wrote this blog entry for you to take a look at yourself and how you are in your own relationships. We all have room to grow. For me I have just really realized lately what a great person I have become, that my differences are actually what is great about me, and what a great person I will be for future relationships to come. Not perfect mind you because I will make mistakes, but I know I’m capable of putting in the work to have healthier relationships for myself in the coming future.
I really just love the person I am. No really. =)
As always I bring this to you with much love and pure D-lite. = )
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