If there is one thing I know it's what music to play during all the stages of a break up. Well, that and my collection of slow jams when in a relationship. I love my slow jams that's for sure, but I know the breakup songs too. Funny enough I know breakups very well even though my list of girlfriends is very short. Part of that is because besides the tough breakups of all my past relationship I also spent 8 plus years basically breaking up with Laura. So, as you can imagine that has created a huge catalog of songs regarding this topic. If you have been following this blog long enough you will know I always look at the bright side of everything. So, the bright side of the mess that was Laura and I is I have found some really great and powerful songs to help repair and rebuild myself from the ground up. Some of these song continue to do this even without being in a breakup. The song I picked for this week is one of those songs. That song is off of Will.I.Am's second solo album titled "Songs About Girls" (sounds like the story of my life). Will.I.Am is one of the members of the very popular hip-hop/pop group called Black Eyed Peas. I bought this album day one back in 2008 when I was living with my brother. I bring this up because he made a comment one day pertaining to how much I really did play this album which might have been a lot. Well, when I like something I really like something and this album is awesome. I really think I like every track on the album which is always a hard thing to do these days. Well, for those of us that still buy whole albums that is.
Anyway, I picked this song because it truly fits where I am right now with my life. I really feel fantastic beyond words. These days I’m just having fun and living life. I’m just doing really well with just being me and it feels fantastic. So, in case any of my exes or Laura herself actually cares to know...I'm freaking fantastic. The song talks a lot about that awkward aftermath of what comes after when you break ties to someone you became very connected to. See for ever girl I have pursued or dated I always seem to go back at some point and see how they are later on down the road. Sometimes it's me putting in the effort to find them or sometimes they find me. Either way I usually try to clear up any issues that might have been lingering since we last talked. There is only two women that I have never talk to again after I hung up on them. So, the question you probably want to know is do I ever intend to clear the air or contact Laura ever again? I can't tell you right how at this moment I can easily say no. It's not even about hatred or anger towards her. There is no reason to be in contact with someone like her ever again. I have a feeling she may in fact still read my blog and I also know her well enough to know she probably has lots if things she wants to say to me about things I have said in my writings if she has read them. So far she hasn’t tried to contact me because she knows how capable I am of staying away from her and deflecting her bullshit. Life's great without all of her drama that's for sure. This specific question is kind of leading me into something I want to talk about more by itself with it’s own blog entry so I will leave it at that. So, now with Laura it makes three women on that list of exes that I have no intention of talking to again. Been there, done that. Things like her are not worth my time and energy. Again, this effort over the years to make peace and to check in with the women I have had in my life is just another part of who I am. I care and always will. Even though I have no intentions of contacting Laura ever again I wish her and all the other women the best I really do.
Lets look into the exact lyrics and see if I can pull any other thoughts out of his words:
I'm alright, I'm alright
I'm alright, I'm fantastic
I'm alright, I'm alright
I'm alright, I'm fantastic, I'm all
Nine years of lovin' you
That's now flushed down the drain
(Well, that’s pretty accurate.)
Six years was a bundle of joy
The last two was pain
(Just 2...lets stick with 9.)
Too immature to handle love
We were just playin' games
(Well, one of us was....)
You used to say I was your everythin'
Now, you can't say my name
(Well, after the things I said to her I doubt she will ever name a son after me.)
I never thought that I could survive
Without you in my life
(What a fool I “was”.)
If you was wonderin' about how I'm doin'
Baby, I'm doin' alright
(Somewhere deep in that heart of hers I know she does.)
But it don't even look like you would cry
If I was to up and die, die tomorrow
But that's alright, girl 'cause
(Yep, its completely okay. It really is.)
(I'm alright)
Don't even worry 'bout me
(I'm alright)
Don't even worry 'bout me
(I'm alright)
I'm doin' good now
(I'm fantastic)
Super duper, baby
(You have no idea and I can’t stop smiling.)
(I'm alright)
Don't even worry 'bout me
(I'm alright)
I'm super duper, baby
(I'm alright)
I'm doin' good now
(I'm fantastic)
Yeah
(I'm all)
Six months and a couple of weeks and not one call from you girl
Three months after we broke down, I moved up in the world
(Yes, I most definitely have.)
I wanna know what's goin on, what's goin on in your life
(I’m alway curious and I really hope its better than when I last talk to you.)
I know it's really hard to be my friend, when you were gon' be my wife
We used to love our relationship, but now we just can't relate
I understand why you had to go and change your, love for me into hate
(Definitely couldn’t see eye to eye and that’s what lead to the final ending. So true. I get it. One day you will see the truth.)
And that's why I believe you wouldn't cry, if I was to up and die
Die tomorrow, uh-huh-uhhh, but that's alright gi-irrrl, cause
Don't even worry 'bout me [x2]
I'm doin good now, super duper baby
I'm doin good now, i'm fantastic
Fantastic, yeah
Fan-Ta-Stic...
Fan-Ta-Stic...
Fan-Ta-Stic [x14]
(No really I am Fantastic.)
I know that you are probably thinking that this song is a way to rub it in to past women in my life. I can assure you that it is most definitely not a song to rub in the fact that I’m doing fantastic. Its a song to reflect the fact that I am really and truly doing fantastic. I’m just being real. I wish Laura and all the others the same as I feel right now in this moment. “Times are a changing” is my saying these days and many things have changed about me. This pattern with women is changing as well. It feels good to make progress in this area in my life. It makes me feel much lighter and maybe that is why I’m shedding fat like its going out of style. Progress always feels good. How are you? How close to fantastic are you?
I know I have talked about relationships a lot in the blog entries of late and I almost didn’t go there with this entry, but I had too. This is where I’m at and this is what I’m working on. This is where my thoughts are and this is the work I’m doing so that’s why I decided to continue with this blog entry. I will also have my travel blog entry for my trip to Arizona coming soon I promise. I’m just trying to keep writing as much as possible whenever I have time.
As always I bring this to you with love and pure D-lite. = )
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