I failed.

I had one job. One thing that I was responsible for, and you know what?

I failed. 

As I walked to over to my sister to tell her the bad news, that feeling of failure washed over me. The best outcome of this interaction with my sister was that I owned up to my mistake right away. It may have helped if I had known it earlier, but I really didn’t realize I had messed up till she asked me what my responsibility was. I felt so stupid because what was asked of me was so easy I could have done it at any point during the days leading up to the event. What a horrible feeling it is to let down someone that you care so much about. Shortly after I realized that I had messed up, my mind went to work trying to figure out how I could fix the problem. 

A few days before I was to attend my Aunt Natalie’s wedding, I was asked if I could get a instrumental version of the song “Come Away With Me” by Norah Jones. I was to have it on some device that could play through my now uncle Pete’s amplifier. This day in age its as easy to buy a song digitally on most mobile devices with a simple tap of the screen. So why didn’t I just buy a version right after I was notified that my aunt wanted that song? Well, some sort of perfectionist in me wanted to pick the right version of the song. When I looked in itunes there was plenty to choose from and they all sounded a little bit different. Most of the versions were set up for karaoke. So, I thought I will do some research and figure out which one is the best version because if this is my one responsibility in helping out the wedding I wanted to do my best. 

Well, turns out that instead I did my worst. I just forgot about it all together. Something I do more and more as I get older. There is always too many things going on in my head. I have so many reminders on my phone these days and I write notes to myself all the time to not forget things. There was no reminder set or note written for this task and my one responsibility completely slipped my mind till my sister called me over from the deck of my aunt’s house. 

Damn it, Derrick. 

Now normally none of this would have mattered. I would have just went to my phone and downloaded the song right then and there. Problem was that was where my aunt was having her wedding. I was on the very property owned by the two people getting married. That property is in a place that is off the grid for the most part. I did not get reception at there place at all. Not even a little bit. 

 After I told my sister that I didn’t have the song I took a walk down their driveway and out towards the highway. For some reason I told myself that I thought I actually got reception from the highway that was near their place. Maybe it was just me trying to do something instead of standing around doing nothing. Regardless, when I made it to the highway, I didn’t find any reception either. What I did find was some confidence to go back to the house and try to figure something else out. 

On my long walk back I remembered that Pete and Nat had said they had wifi set up for anyone that wanted to use it when we stayed at their house during past reunions. As I got closer to the house I pulled out my phone and tried frantically to connect to their wifi. I tried for awhile with no luck and I remembered back to last reunion that I had trouble connecting to it then too. I hung out on the deck still working it through my head of any other way to fix the problem. I checked through the list of songs on my phone already to see if for some reason I had that song or I had any other song that might work in it’s place. No luck. 

I found myself on the deck beating myself up for being so stupid. I heard them in the house trying to figure out what to do. Something so simple became so complicated so fast. 

I was gazing down at the people gathering in the yard for the ceremony, when my mother, who was standing out there, noticed the look on my face and asked me, “What’s wrong?” I proceeded to tell her what I had done. She did three things that I suppose any good mother would do. She told me that it would be alright, she hugged me, and then she made a comment about the fact that she had already messed up plenty of things that day already. The last part made me laugh because of how she said it and also made me realize mistakes do happen. 

Her efforts calmed me down quite a bit, but I was still feeling the failure. Music is my thing and I love doing audio things for people. I really do. How could I have forgotten to do this to a woman that I love so much on a very important day?

So what they had come up with between themselves in the house was that they were going to buy it on the laptop and play it through that. It looked as though the problem was going to be solved. I stayed around and tried to stay connected to the process. I was still put in charge of playing the music during the ceremony. It was all hooked up and then the laptop started having issues. My mind went to work again. I problem solve with computers all the time. This laptop however was not playing nice. We were running out of options. 

Plan B was initiated. Different song on an actual cd played on the stereo of their truck backed up in the area of the ceremony. It wasn’t ideal, but at this point we were running behind and out of options. Pete backed the truck up and when he got out I hopped in and went to work. 

I hit play and slowly cracked up the volume. It was a song I had never heard before called “A Case Of You” by Joni Mitchell. Now I know Norah Jones' song “Come Away With Me” very well. Its a beautiful song without a doubt, but this backup song however I think actually might have fit this ceremony much better than the Norah Jones track. I kept the volume loud, but respectful to the situation.

As the song played, I watched from the truck as my aunt and soon to be uncle made their way down the hill toward the crowd of people waiting for them. I tried very hard to hold back the tears that slowly made their way to my eyes. Even as my aunt tripped on her way down the hill I smiled. She recovered quite nicely and said something funny. I couldn’t hear what she said from where I was, but could see everyone laughing so she said something great as she always seemed to do. They slowly made their way towards my sister the master of ceremonies and everyone one stood up. I slowly faded the music out as they reached the front. When I had everything turned off and was about to get out of the truck I looked down at the clock on the dash and it read 3:33. Instantly all the failure and the worry that I had earlier was washed away with pure love and understanding that it all worked out just as it was suppose to. The number 333 is magical for me and whenever it pops up in my life, it sets things in balance for me. Thank you, Universe. I needed that. 

I quickly made it down to the ceremony and sat in the back row and tried again to hide the tears as my sister put on such a great wedding for them. My sister as usual made me so proud, not because I was surprised she was capable of doing such great heartfelt things, but because everyone else gets to see what she is capable of. She gave a performance filled with words that were funny, compelling, and full of love. They got married under the plum tree on their property and they couldn’t have picked a better place. The weather up until the day of their wedding was overcast and cold. Not on this day. The sun shined so perfectly upon them and all those that watched them take the next step in their relationship. 

Before I move on from the ceremony under the plum tree, I wanted to bring up something else that I thought was so cute that happened as they were getting married. Pete and Natalie have 5 big dogs that live with them. During the ceremony, the dogs were suppose to be locked in their house. Well, someone forgot to shut the front door and so they all made their way down to be included in the wedding. Which was cute on it’s own and the way it should be since those dogs are just a big a part of each others lives as they are to them. The moment with the dogs that stood out to me the most was the last dog to make it down the hill. It was their dog Raven. Raven has been dealing with some really bad arthritis in her back hips. I watched her earlier in the day and it was very sad to watch her struggling to walk around. She is the leader of the group of dogs and such a sweet dog too. So, halfway through the proceedings I look to my right from where I was sitting and there was Raven slowly trying to make her way down the hill towards the ceremony. She stumbled and kind of took breaks with each person she passed by on her way to the front. Too adorable. To me it looked like her efforts to make it to the wedding were like a person crawling their way to the wedding and saying “I’m here! I’m here! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” She made her way to the front and finally laid down so she could watch the rest of the ceremony. 

My faith in relationships is restored as I watched my aunt Natalie and now my uncle Pete go through the ceremony of getting married. All the fussing, planning, arranging, spending, stressing, and in my case failing, were worth it for this moment. This moment was for two people that really, truly love each other and have for a long time. They have taken the next step in this thing called life.

After they kissed, we all made our way back up to the house. We ate at the backside of the house together. There were two rows of tables set up and a mini bar close by. As the outside mini bar opened up the two families kind of mingled for a bit getting to know each other as the tables were finished being set up for dinner. 

It was very nice to chat with some of Pete’s family members. This mingling continued into the wonderful catered meal we had. Ed, one of Pete’s older brothers, gave a wonderful speech for my aunt and uncle. 

After dinner, most of us made our way down to the live band and outside dance floor that was set up. Some of us, like myself, sat around the campfire. Much dancing ensued as the night went on. Eventually, everyone either made their way home or ended up around the campfire.

It’s true that I messed up and that can never be fixed, but why I’m sharing this moment is to show that the day was not ruined just because of my failure. Everything worked out just as it was suppose to. It was truly a wonderful time spent and my failure was only a blip on the radar of everything else that went right with their wedding.

The things that we get caught up on that most of the time aren’t the real things that matter. Just keep that in mind the next time you’re in a similar situation because in life we will all have them. 

As always I bring this to you with so much love and pure D-lite. = )