“Where the hell has he been?” That is the question that you should probably be asking me at this point if you are a regular reader on my blog. I don’t even remember how many weeks ago it was since I last posted an entry. Well, I have said before that my mind is always going and my lack of blog entries has nothing to do with me not having anything to say. Believe me, that is far from it. What has happened to me over the last few weeks is, that I have really just been very busy in my life. Which leads me right into my song of the week.
I heard this song a few weeks ago and the chorus really spoke to me. The part of the chorus where it says “This is how it has to be, a kiss for luck, submerge myself, and in 7 weeks resurface, I'm like this. Even if we don't look back again” is a direct reflection of my life as of late. This is another case where the song as a whole, isn’t a direct connection to me, but the overall theme is. In the blur of my time in school I have had to separate myself from many of my friends and family because I just don’t have the time for all the great people in my life. I know most of you understand that and I know it can be just as hard to have me disappear. I want you to know I feel very blessed to have so many people that want me to be involved in their life. Saying that I’m truly blessed doesn’t even put it into words. Far and near I have met great people and all of them continue to amaze me.
What do I mean when I say disappear? What is it exactly that I’m doing with my time when I do?
Well, my focus on my health has not wavered and if anything it has gotten even stronger. I say it all the time that I’m the most focused that I have ever been when it comes to my heath. I have been very focused over the past few years and I have spent more and more time pushing myself to the next level that is me. Longer bike rides, different kinds of workouts, and even further advancing my detail to what I’m eating.
It takes time to workout and to cook my own food so that cuts into my free time outside of my full time job. These things are so important to me and those that love me truly know that, and respect it. For that, I’m grateful.
There are many things that get put lower on the list of todos in my life. Things like playing video games, writing, reading, cleaning, and even some of the many side projects I want to get done as well. Oh and my love life....or the lack there of, also has been put on the back burner for a looooooong time. It’s just the way it has to be for now I suppose and I have to be ok with that. It won’t always be this way, but for now it’s a must. To the important people in my life I want you to know that you aren’t the only thing I sometimes have to put on hold.
I’m so focused on my health goals, but I still know I have more room to grow. I just keep pushing. I want the best for myself and so far all I have done only makes me want to do more. I truly feel the best that I ever have, right now, every moment I breathe. Everyday I feel lighter and lighter and not just physically, I feel as though each day is opening my life up to the opportunity of more fulfillment. It’s a feeling that keeps me going and I’m loving every moment.
Lets look at the lyrics to see if there is some other things I can take away from this song.
My life's these yellow lines, concrete and parliament butts
Exhaust fumes and rest stops who drive hard for their bucks
Load in, sound check, play show, load out
Let's go, next city, oh great, off day
Hangovers, hangups, dial backs, running make up
Apologies and promises and nobody acknowledges
That boys in bands got it so damn bad
But we love like the last cigarette we'll ever have
I'm putting miles on my body 'bout due for a tune up
In this gas station, food ain't really helping but
I'm loving every minute, every road signs a reminder
Of exactly why we did it to begin with
(Yes, I can totally relate. I’m loving every minute and every “memory” is a reminder of exactly why “I” did it to begin with. There are many things that have pushed me forward with my health and many things that I look back on to see my progress.)
This is how it has to be
A kiss for luck, submerge myself
And in 7 weeks resurface, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
(This is the part of the chorus that really spoke to me. All that I do in my life that makes my life more hectic and busy are all necessary. I have to submerge myself and eventually I will resurface to check in with the world. Whether that is posting things on Facebook, texting friends and family, or actually seeing people in real life. I try not to stay away too long. I’m trying to further my education and do something with my life, but I don’t want to completely submerge myself for 4-6 years and then reemerge back to the world after I get a degree. It’s important to still try to live my life while going to school, but it doesn’t always work out quite as balanced as I want it too be at times.)
Tired boys with wired eyes
Exposing imperfections to the public eye
We're perfect, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
I like these hotels, passports, random bag checks
Day dreams of love affairs that I haven't had yet
Touch down, baggage claim, new town, different dame
Same clothes, 7 days, whew, damn, I need to change
(I can relate in the fact that I sometimes feel on autopilot just doing what I need to do even if it seems repetitive. It’s the way it has to be.)
And it's a lifestyle I wouldn't recommend
Wild 'n out on a level Nic Cannon couldn't comprehend
(Fuck out of here)
We made a lot of friends and even more enemies
Some of which were genuine and others just pretend to be
Soft raving baby, life's lovely
Even when the gray rain cloud's right above me
(Life is lovely and even when the sky's are gray. I have built my own sunshine within.)
The girl's textin' me talkin' about gettin' all cuddly
'Cause you paint a pretty picture but the frame is so ugly
This is how it has to be
A kiss for luck, submerge myself
And in 7 weeks resurface, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
Tired boys with wired eyes
Exposing imperfections to the public eye
We're perfect, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
And now it's back in a van with four of my mans
Until we catchin' a tan on the Florida sands
I feel like tourin' this land's made me more of a man
From killa California to the shores of Japan
Good times stayin' up late in Austin
Coast to coast, V8 to Chicago
To gettin' up with Johnny Cupcakes in Boston
And smokin' that most great eight in Colorado
Home ain't home no more
I hug the road and kiss the concrete
And sometimes I even hear her heartbeat
No matter where we go or where we at
We carry upstate on our back, it's like that
This is how it has to be
A kiss for luck, submerge myself
And in 7 weeks resurface, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
Tired boys with wired eyes
Exposing imperfections to the public eye
We're perfect, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
This is how it has to be
A kiss for luck, submerge myself
And in 7 weeks resurface, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
Tired boys with wired eyes
Exposing imperfections to the public eye
We're perfect, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
So a lot of you don't realize
There's a whole subculture
Of boys driving around in vans
Even if we don't look back again
Looking for your daughters
And your lottery tickets
Love it or leave it, I'm like this
Even if we don't look back again
(This is me and this is my life. You either support it or otherwise we might end up going different directions. Which is neither wrong or right, but for me all these things are important and “this is how it has to be”.)
I love my life, bitches
(I love this part of the song because I say this all the time. I love my life. All the good and all the bad. I love my life and this is how it has to be. )
Even if we don't look back again
Even if we don't look back again
The overall theme of traveling in this song also speaks to me in the sense that I have been trying to get out and see the world as much as possible. I have done as much as my busy schedule will allow, and I continue to do more.
I have learned that as you get older it gets harder and harder to see those that are in your life for many reasons. Grown up reasons. I just wanted to take a moment to say to all those that are in my life I understand and I hope you do too.
As always I bring this to you with so much love and pure D-lite. = )
Love this song, love this album, and <3 you, D!
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