Life Through Music: “Last Hope” by Paramore

I have been trying to get myself to sit down and write this entry for a while now. I guess I have been spending my time out doing things instead of sitting here in front of my computer writing about my own pity party. That being said the time has come to open up and move forward. As always I will move through it with words because there is some importance to what I have to say about these last few years in my life. So take a moment and let’s reflect together because I know I'm not the only one who has been here. 

We have all been there haven’t we? Things like getting you’re heart smashed, losing a job, losing a loved one, some good old family drama, or a million other things that life throws at you that knock you off course or puts you in the dumps.

Well, the end of last year was a wonderful mixture of a few things that dragged me down quite a bit. So much so that in a weird sort of way made me hit bottom and got me to step up to make some changes to pull me out of a nasty funk that had lasted far too long. Even in the darkest of times can we become so much more.

I reached out and got the help I needed from the people that love me so dearly. This support came in big things and little things throughout the last few months. Sometimes even the littlest things can give you so much. Maybe a quick hug or words exchanged can truly turn the tides in even the toughest of times. I want to take this moment to say thank you to all of you that help me stand up and be my better self even in the darkest of times. Thank you.

So back around the beginning of this year I ask others on Facebook for songs that really help pick themselves up when they need it. There was many great responses and songs that I have yet to check out. I did however get some songs that I really needed by asking this question. The person that hit the mark was of course someone that knows me well and we are so similar in how we deal with life’s trails and tribulations. I’m talking about my brother Justin. He shared with me two songs that he had used for himself to pull himself up. This is just one of the many reasons that I love him so.

“These two shall fly like brothers.”

In this entry I’m only going to talk about one of the two songs he brought to my attention. The song that I’m referring to I listened to everyday during the month of January and pretty much February as well. I would usually listen to it once or twice before I went to sleep or when I first woke up in the morning.This continued even through March and into April as well. This song gave me that hope each day that things will get better if you just don’t lose all hope.

The song that I’m talking about is by the band Paramore called “Last Hope.” The first version I heard was the live version that my brother showed me on youtube. It is the very same version that I’m going to post on this entry. In my opinion the live version is better than the album version of the song although I enjoy and listen to both quite a bit. Let’s go to the lyrics and see what spoke out to me.

"Last Hope" by Paramore

I don't even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy by now
The more I try to push it
I realize – gotta let go of control

(I was taking control of many parts of my life that I needed to, but I was letting go of many things that I had no control over.)

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
So let it happen

(And it doesn’t happen overnight you have to just let it happen.)

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

(That light within myself had gotten very dim over the last few years, but this song reminded me that it was there and sometimes that’s enough.)

Every night I try my best to dream
Tomorrow makes it better

(Each day gives chance to move forward in a positive direction.)

Then I wake up to the cold reality
And not a thing is changed

(It will happen on some days where you feel like nothing is changing, but it is you that needs to let it happen. Patients, it doesn’t happen overnight.)

But it will happen

(It will.)

 
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

(Yes we do.)

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to
It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore

(At some point you will often realize that the pain hasn’t gone, but it’s not getting any worse. It will become more bearable to handle. Now you start to heal and move forward.)

And the blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has
And that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive

(You are alive. You are bigger than this. Whatever it was that has been keeping you down has hurt you, but it won’t kill you or keep you down any longer.)

Alive

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I let go of control now, I can be strong)
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I keep my eyes closed, with the blind hope)
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh

Ohhh
Ohhh

Hold on to the light within yourself no matter how dark it gets. It will get better, but it starts with believing in yourself and finding the love that is within us all. Hold that light.

It’s only been a few months since I hit my last bottom, but I can say with certainty that I feel I have turned the corner in a big way and it has gotten so much better because I let it happen. As I start to rebuild myself and even grow new parts of myself in the process I’m also in the process of being open to the endless possibilities of what I can be going forward. There is lot of change coming to my life and I’m trying a new tactic of embracing the changes like I have never done before. Who knows how great life can be in the future. I don’t know for sure either, I do know that I got to let it happen though. *wink*

As always I send this to you with so much love and pure D-lite. = )