To you...

Okay, sorry I need to do one more entry. Since this is the end of a year and the best time to end things and start fresh for a new year. I’m going to share something I have actually been writing for the last 9 years. What I wrote is a very personal, but I have found that putting myself out there to the world through my blog has really helped me move through things. I will also be bookending my own words with two songs that fit what it is I have been going through. I will share the lyrics in those songs too because they also help paint a picture of before and the future when it comes to this person. Thank you. 

First sone is “Left Behind” by Zero 7

"Left Behind"

Cleaning up the things she left behind

Are you on to find some peace of mind

Are you aware of the mess you left behind

Scared to think away the cheer

Looking back in a mirror

It all becomes clear

The views are not the same

I see sun, you see rain

Cleaning up the mess you left behind

To you...

From the moment I first saw you.

All I wanted was to know you...

From our first conversation. 

I just wanted to talk to you...

When every man in your life wanted you... 

I loved you...

When you kissed me. 

I needed nothing more...

When your life got dark.

I cared for you...

When you had your daughter.

I had hope...

Whenever your life was complicated. 

I made it as simple as I could...

When you messed up. 

I didn’t understand...

When you text me.

All I wanted to hear was your voice...

When you made it difficult. 

I was right there...really I was... right... there

When you could have been there at any moment. 

I tried to figure out why you didn’t... 

When all you had were excuses.

I found ways...

When you sat next to me. 

I felt at peace...

When I brought you flowers.

I was happy to have lunch with you...

When you read this.

You will never truly understand...

When there was something we never had before.

We will never really know. 

When you look back.

Truly.

What it could have been and what is was...

When you realize.

Finally.

I won’t be there...

The second song is “Shine” By Late Night Alumni. This is a good song to inspire me to move on to the possibilities of what the future brings. 

“Shine”

I'm not afraid I'm wrong. 

I'm so afraid I'm right. 

My deepest fear is that I'm powerful 

but who am I to shine? 

How was I to know 

you weren't the captain of my soul? 

All this time, you and I 

could've been pulled apart 

and I'd have stayed alive. 

It's past it's gone. 

Today I feel alright. 

I don't regret one single day. 

I think I'll I walk this line. 

How was I to know 

you weren't the captain of my soul? 

Not overthrown, cause I know, 

today I can be champion on my own. 

Starting now, I am myself again. 

From now on I am a champion. 

I'll never be alone. 

The rest of my life. 

Looking out for better days, 

shining brighter lights.

Yes, I am never alone and I will be looking for better days & shinning brighter lights. 

As always I bring this to you for the promotion of love and being the purest version of myself. = )