A look back at 2016 in Life Through Music: "Ride" By Empire Of the Sun

2016...oh my...what a year. What a slap to the face right? Where do I honestly begin? Well, first I want to say that on a personal level 2014 was still the worse year of my life so far, but 2016 is a close second. 2014 is a year I wouldn’t go back to no matter how much someone offered to pay me. Well, that is with one exception of course. That exception being I would relive the first three weeks of January of 2014 so that I could see my mother again, but that is it. The year of 2016 like 2014 has also been pretty shitty year overall. In this year of 2016 we have seen some of the sickest parts of human nature come out of the woodwork and have run ramped.The year hasn’t been just bad for me, instead as a whole I think the world can agree 2016 can bugger off.
    We also lost some very well known talented people throughout the year from Bowie to Prince to Gene Wilder to Carrie fisher (and now Carries mother too) and George Michael just to name a few.  

   
     Those losses are sad, but not as sad as the terrible things that we have done to humanity over this year. From the way the protestors that stood up for the protection of sacred Native American land were treated to the continued attacks in Aleppo. It’s just truly so disgusting and disheartening to see how bad we can be as human beings. If we were handing out grades for what type of year this was it would be lower than an F. Instead it would be a F for failure to be decent representation of a species that is worth keeping around on this planet. Oh and I have to mention the death of the great barrier reef just another example of the damage us humans continue to do not just to ourselves but to the planet as well. What a sad day for this planet. It doesn’t stop there unfortunately because the changing of the guard for the president of the united states looks to make at least the next four years difficult at the very least. Political parties aside we should all be ashamed for how one of the most powerful countries in the world is operating especially as a government level. All this being said it isn’t to say I don’t have hope or there wasn’t any good things in 2016. There is so much more bad things that happened that I didn’t touch on, but quite frankly I don’t want to weight down my heart more than it already is so we will move back to more positive thoughts I just needed to be honest with how this year truly was.
    Switching from the problems of the world to a more personal level when looking back on this year I guess I should start back at my end of the year blog entry for 2016. Looking back I wrote about being ready to launch by taking off from this planet and was really focused on doing big things namely getting back in the direction of getting myself to the healthier me. Looking back now I might have been a little too aggressive. I can easily say that now because of how I feel towards the end of the year. I think the biggest problem at the beginning of the year was that my mind was ready to go go go, but my body wasn’t quite at the same level. Physically this has caused me some real problems that have forced me to slow down. It’s been really frustrating to say the least. From bike injuries to back injuries, and now knee problems I have really been sidelined. This has been extremely hard for me to deal with because when life gets hard movement or exercise has been my go to for fighting back. Without that I have struggled to keep up with life in many ways. It’s not however made me throw in the towel. Instead I have reached out and started making new paths on which I might succeed. I have been aggressive in my attempt to solve my knee problem that has plagued me this year. I truly believe solving that problem alone will help me in so many ways and that is one thing in 2017 I'm looking forward to. I have a doctor’s appointment right in the beginning of January to hear what the knee doctor has to say about the MRI scan of my knee. Fingers crossed I can get this solved soon. 
    Now I want to talk about the positives of 2016. I want to talk about the good things that happened this year for myself. Lets start with my many awesome outdoor adventures I had this year. First, I volunteered three times helping doing work on the Pacific Crest Trail. Next, I hiked to the top of Dog & Saddle Mountain with brother which was amazing. Next, I spent 4 days camping with my four best friends on our man camp trip. Also, I went camping by myself for the first time ever which was truly amazing thing to do. Finally I spent much time outside hunting for Pokemon with my good friends.
     Mentally I still feel much better than that last two years even though there has been a butt load of sadness and frustration from things that have happened in 2016. This has been a big difference for me since the two years before I was struggling hard. I won’t say it’s all sunshine and roses, but my mind is more balanced. I have to keep moving forward in some sort of positive direction. I will prevail.  
    For music (obviously) it was a big year for me as well. I got to see 21 Pilots in concert (it was AMAZING) with my good friend Eli. I got to see Lukas Graham with my best friend JJ at the Doug fur one of the best shows of all time and I even got to meet Lukas personally after the show. I got to release the dedication video for my mother that I worked on for a while that had two songs in it that really mean a lot to me that was so important to me to make and share with others. Also, quite a bit of new music found it’s way to me this year even though I wasn’t able to write blog entries for said music, yet.
    Food wise I made some awesome food and continue to grow as a chef. Even though much of the food I made was pretty naughty health wise and has led to much of my weight gain over this year. For my birthday I hunted down fresh gluten free & dairy free donuts (Also part of the weight gain). I also got to spend my birthday with JJ one of the closest people to me and someone I consider my brother. So many things I have yet to make and I got some more fun kitchen tools to use for the new year. I will however be shifting to some healthier dishes in the coming year.
    School wise I had some important things happen for myself. First, I graduated with honors from Portland Community College in the spring. I’m pretty proud of that. Then in the fall I had my first term at Portland State University in were so far I have continued my good grades ending fall term with three As and one B. It was really exciting and fun getting to explore the PSU campus and downtown Portland. So far so good.
    Now back to the music! I know that life as a whole has been very sad and depressing this last year. So much so that it’s hard to see the positives even I have struggled with it a lot these days. My words of advice or encouragement is to keep our heads up to stay focused and vigilant. Stay positive for the world needs you more than ever. Remember to always choose love. I want you to remember that there are still good people out there. If nothing else know that I am one of them and will hold the light until my dying day. I don’t really have a song that truly matches where I am today, but as I look toward 2017 with hope this song by Empire of the Sun called “Ride” hits on the idea of unity and togetherness.

"Ride"

Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
If I saw her saying goodbye
I don't know what I'd do, no, no
If I'm gonna make a break and cry
I don't wanna know how bad it gets
Don't go falling away, you gotta make that break
Don't you turn into waste, we got it made you and me
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
If I steal the [?] look into your eyes
Think I just should through, oh oh
If we lost the taste of sudden life
I don't want to show my face again
Don't go falling away, you gotta make that break
Don't you turn into waste, we got it made you and me
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can (Together we can do it)
Together we can
Together we can (Together we can do it)
(Together we can do it)
(Together we can do it)
Together we can
Together we can (Together we can do it)...

I think that about sums it up. Rise up on this ride of life and do this together. Together is the only way we can. We can do it.

I may not be launching off 2017 like I did in 2016, but I’m at least standing on the platform looking up at the stars above as if in a promise to visit them again. Stay humble. Stay focused good people.

Look I know that just changing the year to 2017 isn't just going to make every bad stop or get better, but maybe..just maybe it might be the push we need to get going in the right direction.

I hope to god that 2017 is much better for all of our sake. Take care of yourselves and as always I bring this to you with so much love and pure D-lite. =)

Life through Music: “Colored Emotions” by Night Moves

I’m absolutely in love with music right now. I think that’s a funny statement for me to make because it’s not as though I ever fell out of love with music. I think more recently I have discovered a missing part of my connection with music. Music is connected to my very soul and I suppose as I start tapping into myself again it would only be natural that this connection would come around again. This love for music was one of the greatest gifts I got from my father. Music has played such a big part of my life from a very early age. Even more music has always moved me at a much deeper level throughout my life. As I dive deep within myself this movement brought on by music just grows that much stronger.

The great thing about having great people in your life is that they bring great music with them. I’m truly blessed with so many great people in my life because they never seem to disappoint me with what great energy they bring into my life. It's just truly amazing. There is nothing but gratitude from me to all those around me. Thank you so much.

Over the last few months there has been just a steady stream of new music that I want and will get to eventually. This is such a great problem to have so please don’t ever stop the flow of great music. I need music to make sense of my life experiences and I don’t see that ever changing.

This week's song was shown to me by one of my very good fiends David. David has tried to get me to listen to so many artists since we have become friends, but I usually forget in the craziness that is life. Luckily some of the artist he has suggested have been able to stay in my memory (usually this happens with constant reminders from him) and eventually I’m able to connect.

The band for my pick this week is called Night Moves. They are a Midwest indie rock band. Right from the beginning I fell in love with their sound. The indie rock band has in my opinion nailed the sound and feel of the 70s with a modern twist. I don’t know if I have mentioned it before, but I think that part of my soul was left back in the 70s. I just love much of the music of that generation for reasons I’m still trying to figure out. The seventies era also reminds me a lot of my parents especially my father. It was during the seventies that he was a disc jokey at a local Portland radio station called KVAN 1480. I even have some recordings of my father being a DJ during the seventies and so much of the music he chose to play on those recordings I love.

What is it that I love so much about that seventies era music? I think its the bleed over of free love of the sixties and the music technology advancements druing that decade. I think that technological advances in the music industry at the time was able to give music more depth electronically through varies effects and such. I think the 70s was just a great bridge between the music of the 60s and 80s. There was a focus on large and dance heavy sound that can be shown by the disco music of that era. I just think what I love about the seventies was just a steady groove across much of the music of that era.

You can see the resurgence of that sound and groove in much of the current music from artists like Justin Timberlake to Broken Bells to Empire of the Sun. All things come back around again as they say. Well, I’m not complaining one bit so just keep it coming. Let the groove continue and grow with the new spin that the modern era puts on it.

My song pick for the week is called “Colored Emotions” by Night Moves. It was the first song that David suggested I look into from the band. I have since listen to much more of their music and its all fantastic honestly. However, I will start with the song “Colored Emotions” because I think the song is such a good representation of where I am in my life currently.

When I walk through the park blocks of downtown this week heading to class I couldn’t help but look around and take life in. There was all sorts of emotions that run through me as I looked around. Feelings of hope, worry, loss, happiness, kindness, determination, and most of all love.

Color for me is also very connected to my emotions as well and there was much I felt as I looked at the colors around me on my walk to class. The beauty of the colors of the leaves still changing for those still on the trees around me as I walk. The wide of variety of different people around me of all walks of life wearing all sorts of different colors. The sun beaming down through the trees in front of me with a back drop of a mixture of beautiful blue sky and layers of soft small clouds.

All the while color and emotion where being combined by the sounds playing in my ears which are warm tones of guitar & bass matched with beautiful strings playing a soothing rhythm to my soul by this new found band.



Enough of my rambling! On to the lyrics!

“Colored Emotions” by Night Moves

Don’t say when it just us a colored emotions

One night but its just a colored emotions

'Cause it’s the feeling that a feeling is over when it just comes to light

Because I’m missing still missing when persuasion has comes in through the tides

Your love got me a feeling like a high I once had in the night

And it was you so in it just because of long devotion running on

I was thinking that maybe I'd take a ride out of town

Just to see a couple of friends I want to say goodbye

Yeah

Oooh oooooooh

Colored emotions running ‘round

Ooooh Oooh

I realize that this song connects more to me through the musical instruments playing than the lyrics sung. Its still a great soundtrack to add to today on this wonderful fall day. I got to keep on rolling on as those colored emotions running ‘round.

I can imagine my father listening to this on the radio station that is my life and grooving along with me. So on that note I want to end this blog post speaking as though I was introducing this song to you like the disc jokeys of old.

*clearing throat*  "Ladies and gents I got a fantastic new song coming to you from some folks out to the midwest. Something to brighten up this drab Portland day. It's got heart, it's soul, and most important its got that groove. No jiving going on here folks. I got the newest and greats from the band Night Movies called "Colored Emotions". So sit back relax and just take it all in. I hope this song adds a bit of color to this dark and rainy day in the Pacific Northwest. I hope you are taking the time to appreciate the things around you today. We can always be sucked into the negatives of this world. Lets instead look to push forward in a positive direction. Take care friends. Always giving you music to be inspired. Spreading that sound sunshine for your life by keeping it lite and keeping it positive here on D L I T E radio."

As always I bring this to you with so much and pure D-lite. = ) enjoy!

Life through music: “Bicycle race (I like to ride my bicycle)” by Queen

Of course it was the weeks around my midterms in college that I suffered some heavy blows from life/universe. I’ve had a few incidents with my bike of late that were not life threatening, but definitely enough for me to take a step back. I do think this maybe a sign that I’m really trying to do too much and I need to be careful. Maybe.

The first bicycle warning sign that I should have paid more attention to a few weeks ago was my back tire popping at the bottom of a large hill by my house that I ride down on my way to work. Even with the dangers of what could have gone wrong at the speed I was going at the time of my tire popping. I was very lucky I did not crash or hurt myself. The most that my tire popping did to my day was me frantically changing the route in which I got to work.

I fixed the tire shortly there after and resumed my riding to work, but apparently there was a few more issues that were lingering with the bike that I have had for almost a decade. When I got some time between work and school I took my bike over to a good friends house to have him help me with some of those of minor fixes my bike needed. One of those fixes was trying to stop my back tire from slipping out of place after I have locked the tire into position. This tire slipping issue isn’t a problem once I have the tire tighten down extremely tight, but because of how hard I have to tighten it down its very hard to take the tire off and on. Point is it shouldn’t be that hard to lock the tire in place.That is where my buddy comes into play because he was going to try to help that problem from happening.

My buddy made a few adjustments to the area were the tire fits on the bike frame. All that was left to do was test out the adjustments. He locked the tire in a more normal range of how it’s supposed to lock in place. I got on the bike and pedaled through his apartment parking lot. As I rode the bike around everything was going fine. Then I thought to myself as I was riding around the parking lot that the back tire won’t slip out unless I put the bike into a tougher gear and really rack down on the pedals. I think you might already know where this heading. So I put the bike into a tougher gear and really pedaled hard. Well, as you might of guessed the tire slipped out from its former locked position. Unfortunately, so did I. That’s right I went face forward over my handlebars and landed face first on the pavement. My hands and my chin took most of the brunt of the fall. In fact I would actually say that my chin took 90% of the blow from the pavement.

There I lay on the ground, on my stomach, in full bike rain gear looking down at the ground below my chin. I was looking down because there was an unusual amount of blood pooling in the cracks of the pavement below my face. My buddy who was not too far away was saying all sorts of comments that most people would say after they watch an incident like the one I just described. I know he felt bad about what just happened. I, on the other hand, felt stupid and a bit worried about the amount of blood that was already accumulating in front of my face. It took me a bit to get up off the ground and by then my buddy had pulled my bike off to the side because there was another resident of his apartment in their car trying to leave as all this happened.

After we got out of the way I left my bike with my buddy and went to address the damage to my body. Most of my body was okay, but my chin was pretty banged up. I had a hard time trying to see how bad the damage to my chin was though because I had grown out my beard quite a bit making it rather tough to see the bottom of my chin.

Before I shaved

Once the bleeding seem to have stopped I biked from my buddy’s house to my work nearby. I showed up at work and after trying to clean myself up I explained to my coworkers what happened. All the while my chin would not stop bleeding. Finally, I was able to shave my beard back some so I could see the real damage to my chin. As you can see from the picture it was a pretty deep cut. Turns out it was a deeper gash than even I thought initially. So after trying to work for an hour or so I left work to go to the urgent care. We all know that time honored adage that says, “When a wound won’t stop bleeding then something ain’t right.”

After I shaved my beard back

Two hours and five stitches later I was at a loss on what to say about another crazy situation life threw at me. Quite frankly all I was doing at that point was laughing a lot about it. Mind you it was frustrating as all get out to me, but I couldn’t help laugh about it. As I recapped in my own head or when telling others what happened I couldn’t help but laugh hard about it. Not just light giggles either, but that really deep laughter. That kind of laughter I was happy to have even if it did hurt my chin a little as I did it. In fact I still laugh about it quite a bit now even as I write about it.

I know my family worries about me when it comes to biking and with good reason it’s not the safest thing to do by any means. However, it’s actually something that I really truly love to do and is a very important part of who I am. I will not put the bike down nor will I stop biking because I’m fearful of what has happened or what will happen. Instead I will continue to bike with the intent to keep trying to do things I can to make my rides as safe as I can.

I’m sad to say that my bike troubles didn’t end there. The day after I got my stitches out of my chin from the accident I mentioned above I crashed again. I actually crashed right at that spot where my back bike tire had popped a few weeks before all of this happened. Is it a coincidence? I don’t know, but I ain’t going out like that. I will take some time to heal for sure and then go from there.

The bike that I have now was given to me by a coworker many years ago. That bike has done much for me, but I think it might have too much bad juju on it at this point. I think it’s time to pick out a bike just for myself. I have been riding now for about a decade and why shouldn’t I spend the money on something nice for myself that I truly enjoy?

Okay okay. I know that is a lot to take in before I even started talking about the song that I wanted to mention for my pick of the week. I think at this point it should be pretty apparent why I picked this song. The song is in my mind my current anthem when it comes to how I feel about biking. The song is “Bicycle race (I like to ride my bicycle)” by none other than the band Queen. Most of why I picked this song is because the chorus because it’s just so fitting, but lets go to the lyrics anyways.

Lyrics:

“Bicycle Race (I Like to Ride My Bicycle)” by Queen

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

(YES I DO!)

You say black I say white
You say bark I say bite
You say shark I say hey man
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like Star Wars

You say Rolls I say Royce
You say God give me a choice
You say Lord I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan
Frankenstein or Superman
All I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my

Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah!
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah

On your marks get set go

Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle bicycle
(I want a)
Bicycle race

You say coke I say caine
You say John I say Wayne
Hot dog I say cool it man
I don't wanna be the President of America

You say smile I say cheese
Cartier I say please
Income tax I say Jesus
I don't wanna be a candidate
For Vietnam or Watergate
'Cause all I want to do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle (c'mon), bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

I really think the chorus is the only part of this song that I really connect to for this song of the week. That being said its a very strong connection to the idea that I just want to ride my bike universe so just let me.

I have been thought enough the last few years and I won’t let this get me down. I’m still sore and beat up today, but I overall so very feel good. Even more I feel happy. The happiest I have been in a very long time and I’m not willing to let that go. No life, I’m not asking you to keep throwing tough things at me to deal with, but if you do I will continue to adapt and to keep moving on up. I will not be denied.

I truly hope you are finding ways to keep things positive in your own life and please do what you love while being careful to not hurt yourself. I believe in you.

As always I bring this to you with so much love and pure D-lite. = )

 

life Through Music: "Man I Use to Be" by K-OS

Alrighty! Back at it again. This song that has been playing in my head recently over the last few months. I heard this song many times over the last two and half years. Unfortunately with the death of my mother there was also the death of another person. That person was the man I use to be.

Many people that I know have heard me say that right before my mother’s death I truly was the best that I had ever been as a human being. Her death derailed me in the worse way possible as I have already discussed in other blog entries. What I want to talk about more in this post is the fact of what a death of someone really close to you can truly do to the person that you are.

I keep saying I want so bad to get back to that place in which I was before my mother died, but guess what? You can’t. The bad news is that the person that I was will never exist because my life is not the same as it was. The death of my mother was the marking of the beginning to a big chapter in my life in which now I'm parent-less. God willing most of you won’t know this feeling until you are much older.

I have no parents to lean on when I need them. I no longer have the cheerleaders that parents can be in your life always. Family time during the holiday season gets very different from it was in the past. There is no longer that unconditional love in the real world now that they have both passed on. It’s the struggle to figure out a new relationship with those people now that they are in a different form. Instead of saying goodbye its trying to find a new way to say hello.

Over the last two and half years I have had struggled with my attempts to get back to that happy, healthy, and truly loving life person that I was prior to my mother’s death. It’s really been such an up and down battle. At one moment I would make such progress and then the next I would be set back quite a few steps.

What has finally helped me make more progress in the right direction is one big revelation about how I must live now. What I have come to really embrace is that statement above that the person that I have been chasing is unattainable. What I have done instead is focused on what I felt at that time before my mother’s death and try to duplicate the parts of myself that I loved in the new lens from who I am now to who I’m becoming.

What are some of those things? Well, having a purpose to get out of bed every morning is a great start. The ability to truly seeing the world around me from the little things to the extremely large things. To acknowledge the ugliness and the beauty that is life. To be truly thankful for my life. To appreciate what I have and work towards things that I need, want, and dream of that will truly add to my life. To really pay attention to what I chose to have in my life and let go of things that no longer serve me. What is more important is giving more energy to what adds to my life. TO FEEL GOOD IN MY BODY. That one is so very important to me and prior to my mother’s death it had become such a part of the person that I am. My parents death’s have really made the idea of do the things that you want to do because life is so short. The abilities to find the positives in all possibilities life gives us. These are some of the ideals that I hold on to these days as I move closer and closer to getting back to the man I am.

So the song of the week is that of one of my favorite hip hop artist mostly for his ealier body of music. The song that I picked is “Man I Use to Be” by K-OS (which stands for Knowledge Of Self) from his second album titled “Joyful Rebellion.” Most of my connection to this song is from the lyric from the title & chorus which is “Man I use to be”, but lets go to the lyrics anyway and see what we can find.

“Man I Use to Be” by K-OS

 
I tried it, I couldn't find it
Now I just want to get back to me
Awe baby, hoo hoo
Back into the man I used to be


(I did try and continue to try.)

Things that I said I wouldn't do, I did 'em
Secrets below the service of truth I hid 'em

(I have been very lost over the last few years and so I tried many things to try to help. Many things I said I wouldn’t do.)


This mankind is past, but can he erase
The tears of a million years is human race
Of animals, that taught to walk upright
Then slave all day and fall in a trance at night
Flowing the planet, trying to find missing links
Like the men we used to be and always suppose to think
Mysteries, maybe not
It's getting hot, we better configure the plot, but
I hold a pen with the grip so tight
That' a squeeze the ink out'ta the page, and write a song for the people
Came up from the underground, now I write above on a hovercraft sound
This microphone, like an amphetamine
Keeping me clean, speaking in dreams
So nature can intervene, just for a scene


(The days when I use to write in this blog more often help me so much to remain me.)

I walk the long path alone, my feet hurt
Lost some friends along the way, I did dirt
I went to church, I tried everything
From leaving my body, to watching the birds sing
For hours, so I could feel heavenly powers
Had been across the universe and inside of flowers
But what is it worth, I'm still just a man on the earth

(I’m not alone, but I have walked much of my path alone trying many things. I haven’t lost some friends, but the fiends I have now do change. I looked inside and outside myself, but in the end I’m just a man.)


Rappers are acting like man tan
Can I be candid, I can't stand it
Rap bandit, got Kheaven acting frantic
I want to swing my sword decapitate
But what is a man if he acts like an ape
So I sit back, planning my great escape
Load up my EPS and peruse my record crate
The man I used to be, I can only see by looking beyond me
So what is reality, I don't know

I walk the long path alone, my feet hurt
Lost some friends along the way, I did dirt
I went to church, I tried everything
From leaving my body, to watching the birds sing
For hours, so I could feel heavenly powers
Had been across the universe and inside of flowers
But what is it worth, I'm still just a man on the earth
Rappers are acting like man tan
Can I be candid, I can't stand it
Rap bandit, got Kheaven acting frantic
I want to swing my sword decapitate
But what is a man if he acts like an ape
So I sit back, planning my great escape
Load up my EPS and peruse my record crate
The man I used to be, I can only see by looking beyond me
So what is reality, I don't know


Oops, wrong song, stop it stop it
You know what
I woke up in the morning
I took a trip to the corner store
That's when I heard my calling
But I'd never heard the voice of truth before
So I kept on walking
Pretended I didn't see
Walked by a window and my reflection said to me
You could try all the same
But you'll never know this mystery
There's no pile on your plane
So you're not the man you used to be
Try all the game, but you'll never know this mystery
When your pile has no plane
Said you're the man you used to be seen

(I love this part of the song. At the end of the song it goes into Kevin (K-os) singin over an acoustic guistar. You can try all the same [of trying to be the person I was],but you’ll never know this mystery [life])

 
Holla and ya holla, you folla you fall
Ya holler and ya holla, you folla you fall
Ya holler and ya holla, you folla you fall
Ya holler and ya holla, you folla you fall
Ya holler and ya holla, you folla you fall
Ya holler and ya holla, you folla you fall
Yo, microphones get ripped holding us back
K dash rocking it out, rocking the cold style
Making it up, go along singing my song
Woke up, in the early morn didn't know what was going on
Whatever, I don't really know
Flows like an immaculate goat what up, whatever

One step and one day at a time I find my way to where I must go now and who I shall become. Slowly I get in touch with my inner self. Slowly I get reconnected to this body I’m lucky enough to have on my trip through life. I make more progress on building new dreams, new views, and new ways of being me. It is in my opinion the highest work that a person can do while on the planet. 

I hope you are doing the same for yourself and hope life is going well. 

As always I bring this to you with much love and pure D-lite. = )

Life Through Music: "Turn It Around" by The Head and The Heart

September 25th of 2016 is coming to a close and this is my last day of freedom for a long while. It is this moment in my life that I choose to start again. It’s been so long that most of 2016 has come and went at this point. Crazy how fast the year can go by. The good news is that I have really been doing things instead of writing. As important as writing is to me I made a conscious decision going into this year that I was going to go out into the world with more gusto than I have had over the last few years. I planned on doing things that I love to do that make me, me. On top of that I made an effort to try some new things as well in efforts to shake things up and explore new doorways with new possibilities. This effort was most predominantly shown during my summer break from school. So many of the entries that come after this entry will most likely come from that period of the year. So on that note lets get started!

There is so much music I have heard both new and old since the year began that I want to share with my readers. This collection of music has been swirling around in my head for too long so it’s time to get some of it out of my head and into my blog. The song that I picked for this week is from a band that is definitely in heavy rotation during the fall months for myself especially. There is something about this band's warm and heartfelt music that makes my autumns lovely. I usually pick their song called “Winter’s Song” as my song to usher in the season of fall. This time I’m going with a song that is much more up beat and gives me a boost of inspiration. Now who doesn’t want to get inspired right?

This week’s song is called “Turn It Around” by The Head and The Heart. This song is from their newest album called Signs Of Light that came out earlier this month. I spent much time previewing the album before I bought it, but the song "Turn It Around" really made me buy the album. It is just one of those songs that fits right into where I am right now. It also has that vibe to help me move forward in the positive direction I have been. I have played this song many times since I got it and as loud as I can when I do. If you have ever felt like you have gone too far in the wrong direction please don’t ever give up. Let’s turn it around.

Lyrics:

"Turn It Around"

Stand proud, stand strong
And allow the love and help that comes along
You know the richest man didn't build his house alone
The greatest lessons I learned, I learned right here at home

You know the feeling I'm talking about
Every woman and man without a doubt
You're down but not out

You can turn it around, turn it around
There's nobody blocking your way, taking you down
And if you think that you're lost, you can follow the bridges you've crossed
And then you'll be found

Stand proud, stand strong
And allow the love and help that comes along
You know without your love the light divides alone
Lessons I learned right here at home

You know the feeling I'm talking about
Every woman and man without a doubt
You're down but not out

You can turn it around, turn it around
There's nobody blocking your way, taking you down
And if you think that you're lost, you can follow the bridges you've crossed
And then you'll be found

You know the feeling I'm talking about
Every woman and man's been down and out
But you can turn it around
You can turn it around
You can turn it around
You can turn it around

Yeah you can turn it around, turn it around
There's nobody blocking your way, taking you down
And if you think that you're lost, you can follow the bridges you've crossed
And if you think that you have lost all the version of feeling you saw
Just turn it around
You can turn it around
You can turn it around
You can turn it around

I think the words of the song say it all and so I felt no need to interject my own commentary into the lyrics for it all means so much to me currently. I myself have made much progress from the many set backs of late, but I still need to keep pushing forward. So join me and stand all, stand proud as we turn it all around.

Summer technically ended few days ago, but today is truly my last day of summer before I start up school again tomorrow. And oh what a summer day it was. I truly couldn't have asked for a better summer day. I spent it in the company of one of my best friends and his family. There was even a walk at dusk with my best friend and his youngest son that I won't soon forget. Life is a a crazy thing sometimes both with it's ups and downs.

As always I bring this to you with much love and pure D-lite. Take good care of yourselves. =) 

Life Through Music: “Last Hope” by Paramore

I have been trying to get myself to sit down and write this entry for a while now. I guess I have been spending my time out doing things instead of sitting here in front of my computer writing about my own pity party. That being said the time has come to open up and move forward. As always I will move through it with words because there is some importance to what I have to say about these last few years in my life. So take a moment and let’s reflect together because I know I'm not the only one who has been here. 

We have all been there haven’t we? Things like getting you’re heart smashed, losing a job, losing a loved one, some good old family drama, or a million other things that life throws at you that knock you off course or puts you in the dumps.

Well, the end of last year was a wonderful mixture of a few things that dragged me down quite a bit. So much so that in a weird sort of way made me hit bottom and got me to step up to make some changes to pull me out of a nasty funk that had lasted far too long. Even in the darkest of times can we become so much more.

I reached out and got the help I needed from the people that love me so dearly. This support came in big things and little things throughout the last few months. Sometimes even the littlest things can give you so much. Maybe a quick hug or words exchanged can truly turn the tides in even the toughest of times. I want to take this moment to say thank you to all of you that help me stand up and be my better self even in the darkest of times. Thank you.

So back around the beginning of this year I ask others on Facebook for songs that really help pick themselves up when they need it. There was many great responses and songs that I have yet to check out. I did however get some songs that I really needed by asking this question. The person that hit the mark was of course someone that knows me well and we are so similar in how we deal with life’s trails and tribulations. I’m talking about my brother Justin. He shared with me two songs that he had used for himself to pull himself up. This is just one of the many reasons that I love him so.

“These two shall fly like brothers.”

In this entry I’m only going to talk about one of the two songs he brought to my attention. The song that I’m referring to I listened to everyday during the month of January and pretty much February as well. I would usually listen to it once or twice before I went to sleep or when I first woke up in the morning.This continued even through March and into April as well. This song gave me that hope each day that things will get better if you just don’t lose all hope.

The song that I’m talking about is by the band Paramore called “Last Hope.” The first version I heard was the live version that my brother showed me on youtube. It is the very same version that I’m going to post on this entry. In my opinion the live version is better than the album version of the song although I enjoy and listen to both quite a bit. Let’s go to the lyrics and see what spoke out to me.

"Last Hope" by Paramore

I don't even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy by now
The more I try to push it
I realize – gotta let go of control

(I was taking control of many parts of my life that I needed to, but I was letting go of many things that I had no control over.)

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
So let it happen

(And it doesn’t happen overnight you have to just let it happen.)

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

(That light within myself had gotten very dim over the last few years, but this song reminded me that it was there and sometimes that’s enough.)

Every night I try my best to dream
Tomorrow makes it better

(Each day gives chance to move forward in a positive direction.)

Then I wake up to the cold reality
And not a thing is changed

(It will happen on some days where you feel like nothing is changing, but it is you that needs to let it happen. Patients, it doesn’t happen overnight.)

But it will happen

(It will.)

 
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

(Yes we do.)

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to
It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore

(At some point you will often realize that the pain hasn’t gone, but it’s not getting any worse. It will become more bearable to handle. Now you start to heal and move forward.)

And the blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has
And that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive

(You are alive. You are bigger than this. Whatever it was that has been keeping you down has hurt you, but it won’t kill you or keep you down any longer.)

Alive

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I let go of control now, I can be strong)
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I keep my eyes closed, with the blind hope)
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh

Ohhh
Ohhh

Hold on to the light within yourself no matter how dark it gets. It will get better, but it starts with believing in yourself and finding the love that is within us all. Hold that light.

It’s only been a few months since I hit my last bottom, but I can say with certainty that I feel I have turned the corner in a big way and it has gotten so much better because I let it happen. As I start to rebuild myself and even grow new parts of myself in the process I’m also in the process of being open to the endless possibilities of what I can be going forward. There is lot of change coming to my life and I’m trying a new tactic of embracing the changes like I have never done before. Who knows how great life can be in the future. I don’t know for sure either, I do know that I got to let it happen though. *wink*

As always I send this to you with so much love and pure D-lite. = )